Communication Channels

While recently attending a holiday party, one of the questions that provoked a great of interaction dealt with the subject of communication and why we have so much difficulty having others understand us and why others can be so difficult to understand.

There probably as many different reasons for these difficulties as there are people.  Some are as basic as facing the reality that some individuals do not want to understand others.  Some have their own needs met by not being understandable by others.

If we accept the complexity of humans, then it is easy to see that there can be many complex and diverse reasons for humans to struggle to communicate effectively with each other.    After all, this continual struggle is one reason why Dr. Phil is popular and many psychologists have employment.

One idea that I often used in some of my classes was the comparison of human communication channels with those of radio and television. 

For example, at any time of the day and night the air is full of radio and television waves carrying all types of sound.   Unless we find a successful way to “tune in” to these waves, all we hear is silence. Broadcasting is a 24-hour operation.  Just because we cannot hear the sounds being broadcast, it does not mean that nothing is available.

As a human being, we must decide that we want to hear from another.  Many do not hear because they individually make the choice not to talk or listen.

If we decide we want to communicate, then we are faced with finding the correct tools/receivers for communicating.  Just having a tool does not guarantee that we will be successful in our efforts to communicate.  We may have a radio, but it will not bring in television signals.  A person may know how to listen, but there is no guarantee that they will chose to do so.

Even after we find the same tool as the other person, we then struggle to find the same channel.   As was happening at the aforementioned party, there were plenty of people talking, but few were on the same channel as the other person, so few were being heard. 

We each have our own favorite channels in communicating, so we automatically use them and not bother to find what channel another is using.  There is lots of noise in our world, but, just like the silent radio/television waves, we do not understand this noise until we use the correct channel.

If one wants to hear classical music, they would not select a channel that broadcasts political talk.  If we want to learn, we could choose a give-and-talk channel versus a channel where there is argument and only one point of view offered.

We get to choose the channel(s) on which we want to send out our thoughts and feelings to others.   If we are wise, we give them plenty of cues on where this channel can be found and we broadcast what we commit to offer. 

If we want to listen, we can go to specific channel or ‘spin the dial’ until we find something of interest.  The key remains the same:  each of us needs to be on the same channel if we are to effectively communicate.

Comments welcome.  Email:  silverchatline@gmail.com

Joy of Learning

As the years pass by more rapidly than ever, I find that there is one aspect of life that continues to energize me and bring joy to my world:  the process of learning.

During this past holiday season I became aware of one way in which my 14-month old grand nephew and I are the same; we both experience the process of learning and get excited by the outcome.

I have watched my grand nephew go through the process of sitting in the middle to a room watching with his big brown eyes all that is going on around him and yet not able to do anything about his curiosity.  One day he discovered the process of crawling and he was off to see the limits of his world.

He then began to reach out to various pieces of furniture and discovered that he had the ability to pull himself up to a standing position.  After numerous falls, he finally discovered the process of going from standing still with support to the behavior of moving his legs and walking.  

Each phase of his learning success brings light and happiness to his face and he is so proud to show off his latest accomplishment for family and friends.

Earlier this week I experienced a similar process.  As a senior citizen I am many years older than my grand nephew.  My age also contributes to me being one of the technology-challenged of our society and I can usually count on my computer and other digital gadgets to be a producer of anxiety and stress in my world.

This is the fourth month of this blog series and I decided that it was time to change the photograph of myself that is placed with the published articles.  The idea of making a change in format structure by myself without a tech-savvy person to assist produced a good dose of apprehension for me.

However, like my young grand nephew I decided that I wanted to learn how to do it by myself.  While always grateful for assistance from others, this was a process that I wanted to experiment with until I could successfully change that photograph.

So, on New Year’s Day, I opened the blog format and charged into the process of photograph change.   Like my nephew’s numerous unsuccessful attempts on the way to the successful process of walking, I made numerous errors of my own.  Most of all, I just kept trying!

I was finally was able to erase the previous photograph and replace it with a new one.  I was so excited and full of joy to have successfully accomplished this goal.

When I am able to do a successful technology feat, my emotions come alive like fireworks on July 4^th!  I want to show off my tech accomplishment for all to see.  I have learned!

At that moment of achievement I felt so connected to my grand nephew as we both continue on the adventures of learning.  I believe we have this joint journey for the remainder of our lives!

Comments welcome.   Email:  silverchatline@gmail.com