Distortions To Clear Thinking -- Part 2

As we learned in part one about distortions for clear thinking, there are many obstacles for us to overcome when our goal is to become more aware of distortions which tend to prevent from having a clear view of ourselves and others in the many situations of our lives. 

Mind Reading and Fortune Telling are two other distortions that are easy to use.  In mind reading we tend to behave as though we really can read the mind of another person.  Regardless of the length of the history we have had together and the depth of our conversations, we usually do not know for SURE what the other person is thinking and feeling regardless of what they say.

Using mind reading to understand a person or situation often gives us a false sense of power.  We like to think of ourselves as being very observant and excellent listeners when objective data will usually tell us that this is not true for very many of us.

Mind readers often use the defense mechanism of projection where they place (project) their own thoughts and feelings into the other person and make the assumption that the other individual is a certain way.   Then it is easy to make our own personal decisions based on the error that we know what another is thinking.

Fortune telling is where we predict what will take place in the future based on what has happened in the past.   Yes, it can be valuable to learn history of a civilization, religion, education, ethics, etc. We can learn much about options available to us today based on what has happened to others in the past. 

However, the biggest error comes when we make the assumption that our future will be a certain way just because the past of others and ourselves has been a certain way.  So, we pretend that we can tell our future by looking at the past of others and ourselves. “Nothing in life ever changes”.  If humans were consistent like non-human machines, this process may be a great deal more effective.

Humans can also use the past as a way to lessen the effort to make their future different from what has already taken place.  The power to choose and re-choose a different path is a human trait that we are always free to use or not.

There are times when most people would look at a situation and conclude that the thoughts, feelings and behaviors are normal and appropriate.  To fit into this pattern is common goal for many of us.  As social animals, we like to fit in with others and be ‘normal’.  Usually that means to go along with the majority where the past is more important than the future in determining behavior.

For some, their distortion for clear thinking comes from the tendency to magnify or minimize a portion of the world in which they live.   For the magnifier, much of his/her world is out of proportion to others.  The crisis they experience are more extreme, their loneliness is much more intense, the consequences of their choices are more important and have more consequences than those made by others, etc.  It is difficult to be calm and rational in developing clear thoughts where nothing is normal and everything is so large, significant and overpowering.

The minimizer is the opposite.  None of their choices have any significance on the individual or others.  The outcome of their lives is totally unimportant.  Their feelings and thoughts are as unimportant as their behavior.  Naturally, their ‘glass’ is always on the empty side.  With a viewpoint like this, it is very difficult for this person to overcome the distortions to clear thinking.

One more behavior type that has difficulty with this process is the individual who personalizes all that happens to him/her.  EVERYTHING is about this person even though very few people actually live in isolation from others.  All norms of thoughts, feelings and behavior are focused internally.  Others are present to be manipulated in some form to meet the needs of the personalizer.   It is easy to see why this person has great difficulty overcoming personal distortions to clear thinking.

Naturally, there are numerous other distortions that are present to prevent us from practicing clear thinking.  Since no one is perfect, we all usually have some type/degree of distortions present in our personality. 

Our challenge is not to eliminate them from ourselves, but to learn more about them.  We can maximize the behaviors that assist us with clear thinking the most and attempt to minimize the behaviors that distract us.

As humans we have the potential to develop personal growth health through the process of learning, challenging, choosing and accepting responsibility for what we do with this gift called life.  Thinking clearly is one part of that gift.

Comments welcome.  Email:  silverchatline@gmail.com

Distortions To Clear Thinking -- Part 1

Most of us like to think that that we possess the ability to think clearly about almost any situation in which we find ourselves as we travel on our Life Journey.  Realistically, it is the rare person who does not have at least one major distortion in the cognitive process of thinking clearly regarding their personal thoughts and feelings.

Like many aspects of our lives, these distortions occur at different times during our journey and the degree of their presence will also vary.  If we are fortunate, we have people in our lives to help us sort out these cognitive distortions to thinking clearly and assist us to make healthier decisions.

We cannot cover all of the cognitive distortions that people may have with this blog method, but hopefully by focusing on a few, we can better understand the process and how we wish to manage them as me make life choices.

One of the major cognitive distortions is referred to as “all or nothing”.  We may look at our life situations and see them as being all one way or another without any possibility for degree.  Very few people or choices come in this black-and-white manner; much of life is usually some shade of grey with multiple choices. 

When we place people and situations in this all-or-nothing view, we limit the creations of options for others and ourselves.   There is almost no room for thinking “outside of the box” or for utilizing problem-solving processes like compromise. 

One of the best ways to avoid making a decision is to see life as all or nothing.  Since so seldom is this true, we give ourselves permission to avoiding making any decision since we know at some level that neither of the two black-white options we give ourselves will fit and/or work. 

We may even feel free that we avoided a choice and its accompanying responsibility or we have given ourselves permission to be frustrated and miserable since there is no reasonable way out of this all-or-nothing method of choice.

Overgeneralization is another technique that we may use to distort our ability to think clearly.  There are many aspects of our lives that we find easier to live by using generalizations.  Some of us may find that we over generalize in seeing others and ourselves to such a degree that we cannot use the positive aspects of generalization.

Generalization gives us a tool to realize that many characteristics present in one situation can and often may be present in another.  People who behave one way at certain times can often be predicted to behave that way when the circumstances are similar.  We rely on generalized behavior like people walking or driving to the right. 

If a person gets angry during a discussion of politics, we assume that political discussion will irritate him in the future.  If we want peace, we never mention political topics with this person; if we like seeing someone get upset, we manage to bring up the current political rage of the day.

Overgeneralization becomes a problem for us when we take the circumstances from one situation and apply these circumstances to another situation that usually is different in some significant way.  We do not focus on the significance of this difference and allows overgeneralization to distort us from having a clear view to make healthy choices where the situation is similar, but is not the same.

Discounting the positives is a process where we tend to see only the problems and aspects of the situation where only a negative outcome is likely to occur.  Using the “half-glass’ analogy, we focus on the empty part of the glass and ignore or discount any positive aspects which may be present. 

Many people who like to view people and their life situations using this cognitive distortion, frequently like to play mental games like “yes, but” where any positive view is immediately attached with a negative view to discount or lessen its value or the likely hood of it happening with a positive outcome. 

Many people with positive attitudes can easily be trapped into playing mental games as they attempt to change the negative person.  Even those with a missionary zeal of positivism can leave these encounters with feelings of disappointment and failure. 

We all can usually be happier with the life choices we make for ourselves when we accept the realization that people make choices to meet their needs, not ours, and are very seldom are going to chance without some inner need.

Comments welcome.   Email:  silverchatline@gmail.com