Touch

Each of us comes into this world with a high need to be touched and comforted by those who love and support us.  When an individual’s life journey has comes to an end, we find ourselves with the same dependency of being touched and comforted while we prepare to exit this life.

It can be assumed that the period of life between birth and death does not remove our need to touch and be touched by other human beings.  There are many of us who believe that most people do not give or receive enough touch to have healthy self-esteem as adults.

Many studies of children have shown that the ones who receive an abundant amount of touching by being held tend to grow into healthier adults.  These same studies show that children who are not touched in their younger years tend to demonstrate more physical limitations and emotional difficulties as they grow into adolescence and adulthood.

When an individual is dependent on us for some reason, many adults find it much easier to touch and be touched by that person.

The odd part of our society is the mass of limitations we impose on touch during that part of life when we are basically independent adults.

A great deal of effort in our culture is placed on setting guidelines so that any touch will be socially correct and appropriate.   We may shake hands, but we are encouraged to do it correctly by not touching hands for “too long” or with too much strength.  We may hug, but often the same limitations are in place for others to be comfortable with us.

Our society has many pets, mostly cats and dogs.  These animals allow us to touch and be touched by them and to do so in a manner so that our human touch needs can be met in acceptable ways.  Pets tend not to be as demanding as are many humans and are ready for the joys of touch at almost any time of the day and night.

In many ways, our society is not comfortable with the role of human sexuality and human touch.  Many people tend to equate one with the other.  There are few counselors, who have not seen the case where a person chose to participate in sexual behavior, even when not desiring to do so, just so that they can hug and be physically close to another human being.  

One can observe that many marriages fail since they were built primarily on this human need of touch (sex).  For some persons with certain value systems, getting married with the accompaniment of sex is the only way to have socially acceptable and extensive adult touch.

Society attempts to regulate acceptable ways of touch like massage and unacceptable ways like prostitution.  As usual with attempts to regulate what we humans all need to have healthy lives, most of these efforts to impose limitations have mixed outcomes.

So, like so many areas of our lives, we all strive to find ways to meet this natural human need.   Touch was needed at birth and will benefit us at death. 

Each of us must find our own unique path to meet this personal need while striving to live in a society where there are many different views on how this need should be met.

Comments welcome.   Email:  silverchatline@gmail.com