Value of Life

Recently a dear friend of mine told me that she was considering having her pet dog “put down”.   I then recalled a time last year when a family dog had to die after she ate anti-freeze put out by a neighbor who dislikes animals.

These experiences elicited a series of questions within me about the value of life and the similarities and differences we have in our value systems toward people and animals.

My self-inquiry as to the reasoning for putting these dogs to death exhibited the physical and mental dysfunctions that the dogs had.  Pain was present and there seemed to be no way to ease it.  

One had bodily functions that were not working which caused problems for the dog and the humans around him.   Being able to hear had virtually disappeared.  He had behavior around the family with depression-like characteristics. The other was going to die soon due to poison and immediate death seemed kinder.

What are the values of letting these dogs die when their body and mind reach a high degree of dysfunctionality?   Do we have an obligation to release them from misery by administering a system of humane death?  Who makes the choice and what is the appropriate degree of dysfunctional characteristics necessary for a decision of life or death to be made?

Do we make every effort to keep the animal alive regardless of his condition?   Do we make financial investments in the animal health care system that place a strain on our own financial resources?   Do we keep the dogs alive out of our own love for them and our own unwillingness to let them leave our lives and being part of our family?  Many persons really do love and care about their pets equally, if not more, than they do their relatives and make their pets ‘human’.

These questions come to mind each time I see the choices being placed on human beings who have family members who are experiencing some of the same characteristics as the dogs described above.  Is there some point where it is best for all concerned to cease intervention in the degeneration of a person’s mind and body so that our loved ones can follow the natural progression of life that ends in death?  Are we kinder to our animal family than we are to our human family with all of the efforts made to keep humans alive?

While willing to discuss the pros and cons of taking an animal’s life, our society has a difficult time facing the issue of whether an individual has reached a point in their life journey where their body and/or mind indicates that being allowed to die is the most humane outcome for that person. And the discomfort may grow with the role of investing extensively our personal and societal financial resources in their care.

How each one of us feels about this different way we treat the severe illness of humans and animals usually depends on our personal value system.  There are those who see no need to discriminate between treatment of humans and animals regarding the death process.  We should/should not intervene in either.

There are people who believe we should encourage death in both animals and humans when certain illness characteristics are met.

Other see the value of humans as being totally different and much more important than how we treat animals when it comes to handling the decisions on either letting a human die without intervention or maybe helping the death process along due to humane concerns.

One of the cornerstones of personal growth is “Different Strokes for Different Folks”.  We all have our personal value systems on subjects such as the process of death at the end of one’s life journey.

As I get older, I find myself with more and more questions about such things and fewer answers.  I expect to die the same way.

Comments welcome.     Email: silverchatline@gmail.com

Emails for Private Blogging

Power for Positive Living is different from many blogs in that it offers access to the author by a special email address.  While one can still comment on each blog for all to read, the email address is offered for those who prefer to react to the blog’s content by communicating only with the author in a more private manner.

As always with so much of life, the choice of whether to communicate and how it will be done remains your choice.

Email:  silverchatline@gmail.com

No Freebies

There seem to be many people in our world who are frequently upset that the world is not full of ‘freebies’ -- thoughts, feelings and behaviors without some cost attached to them.  Their expectation is that there should be freebies in their lives and that they are entitled to have their fair share, if not more.

Most people who have reached a certain maturity level recognize that there are usually no freebies and that almost everything in life has some type of ‘price’ attached to it. 

The price may be obvious and carried out in our financial monetary system where almost everyone understands the value of a dollar, peso, pound, etc.  The price may be marked for all to see or it can be open to some form of barter and negotiation.  Characteristics are that the persons involved understand the system being used and the unit of measure being used for payment.

This type of system of purchase and payment for goods and services is the easy part of life.  The difficulty for most people comes when the system changes to situations where the type of currency is different such as emotionality.  It can be difficult to determine what type and degree of emotionality is being used to purchase and pay for exchanging feelings and behaviors.

Just because there is no monetary unit being exchanged, one can pay the price of frustration with the illusion that any exchange itself has become free.  For example, if we invest ourselves into the building and maintaining of a friendship with an individual, then we have paid a price to reach the status of having a friend. 

We usually tend to expect the friend to pay us with a returned friendship that includes payment of certain feelings and behaviors.  As with the use of currency, the amount can be openly marked or left unknown and/or hidden until there is a process of barter and/or negotiation.  Even our personal expectations of self and others have a price to be paid.

For example, if we give our love to someone.   For most of us we expect to be repaid by the other person returning their love.  The price of love paid can be as varied as there are types of people in the world and the individual methods each of us is willing to pay for our personal happiness.

Some sell their love at a low price where many people can accept the price and are able/willing to make the payments.   Others may offer their love at an emotional price so high that only a few are able or willing to feel and behave in a way to pay the price expected.

One can choose to pay their price of not being perfect, not getting a job, being cheated by a dishonest family member, etc., with payments of depression and anxiety.  There really are few limits to the type and degree of currency we can use to pay for the positive or negative exchanges in our daily lives.

So, whenever there is a friendship or some other human exchange, it is much easier for us to realize that we are paying some type of price and that most of us are expecting to be paid as well.

Our society is based on these expectations of payment exchanges and we can be happier when we seek and understand the type and amount of payment we are offering and expecting. 

Otherwise, we open our selves to being frustrated with illusional expectations that anything of value in this world should not have a price and should be free to us.

Comments welcome.   Email:  silverchatline@gmail.com

Personal Secrets

Is a person being dishonest if they make the choice not to tell other people a piece of information that they consider personal and prefer to keep a secret?

An email addressed to the Silver Chat Line arrived asking if a person was being dishonest when they preferred not to openly discuss their sexual orientation with others.  While this blog site is not an advice column, this email raises an interesting question about what is healthiest for us and to others when we choose not to disclose information about ourselves which may make us uncomfortable or may make the other person experience a degree of discomfort.

Our cultures are really not comfortable having open, honest and direct discussions about human sexuality even though we flood ourselves with sex in printed materials, movies, music, etc.  We can laugh about it or we can intellectualize it, but seldom do we feel safe enough to be open with our dialogues, especially if we and/or society may tend to see our feelings and behaviors as “different”.

This individual was sharing that the gay sexual feelings were a natural part of life.  He/she liked the idea of having a world in which we each took each other as we were and did not have negative stereotypes of certain groups.  However, he/she realized that this is not our cultural behavioral norm.

People tend to like to be with people who are like them; we like to associate with individuals who we consider “normal”.  Are we being dishonest with them if we choose to avoid disclosing certain things about ourselves where others may have judgmental attitudes and behaviors? 

Even though it is obvious that our creator made people in all different and diverse types, there are many who believe that everyone should have the same sexual orientation.  One could ask why people who have been created with different physical traits, emotional characteristics, etc., should all have the same sexual orientation?

Part of the socialization process is the sharing and receiving of information with others.  Some have the belief that the more information they give/receive with others, the more real and strong is the relationship.  There are probably individuals who would place their sexual orientation on a highway billboard since they believe sharing personal information is always “good”.

Some like to give out personal information in measured amounts to people with varying degrees of closeness.  They see personal characteristics such as sexuality as secrets that are only shared with persons who have earned a degree of trust.

Another question that can be considered is how much personal information do others really want to know about us?   If they know some information they may need to do something about it.   Not knowing is sometimes easier and may avoid internal conflicts. 

For example, someone with a conservative religious background may find it much easier to not know about a person’s sexual orientation if that type of information conflicts with her/his personal and religious value system.  Ignorance can offer bliss. 

Like many other areas of personal growth, the answer to this question is within each individual.  It remains our personal choice to decide what honesty in sharing personal information entails – whether something is to be shared or kept as a personal secret.

Comments welcome.     Email: silverchatline@gmail.com