Am I Rich?

There seem to be three traits that much of our society values a great deal:  youth, likeability, and wealth.  If we happen to have all three traits, or at least the appearance of having them, then our culture considers us to be very fortunate.  And our own self-esteem frequently seems also to be healthier and happier.

While the first two traits receive a great deal of attention during our daily lives, it is the trait of wealth that seems to receive the most focus as to our real value and worth as humans. 

Many persons who would be asked about a wish for their lives would probably respond with something having to do with receiving wealth.  We have so many who sincerely believe that wealth truly brings happiness into life.

What does it mean to be “rich”?  Is this one of those words in our language where there are different definitions even when our usage indicates that we are all talking about the same thing?  How much does it take to be considered rich by our own self-image when compared to those around us?

For many of us, being rich means that we have some large amount of money.  I can recall my childhood when having a single dollar bill (or a silver dollar coin) would give me feeling of being VERY rich.   Now I feel rich and enriched with the blessings of kindness and generosity when a friend places a hundred-dollar bill in an envelope and sends it for the purpose of having me do something special for myself other than pay bills. As a child it was the money; as an adult it is the love and caring that create the positive feelings.

I know friends who do not feel rich with several million dollars that they have.  They believe they need even more money to be wealthy enough.  How much more money that is needed to feel adequate is always vague as they devote their life energies to earning more wealth.  My mind cannot comprehend a million dollars; I look for my  wealth in other ways.

So, who is rich?  Is it the one with a few dollars or the one with many of them?  Does the definition depend on how we see ourselves?  Or, is the definition measured by the individual who has more/less money than we do?  Or does it depend on our neighbors around us in our culture? 

Is being rich all about having money or can wealth be defined in other ways?  Can we have our wealth in different forms?  Can the love of friends,  grandchildren and pets be considered wealth?

I know individuals who have loving family and friends with little money who consider themselves wealthy.  And the reverse situation is also present for some in our society where having plenty of money does not guarantee that happiness and joy are present.  Does money equal wealth for you?
Have you clarified how wealth and money fit into your own personal value system?

I also know people who say that they would rather have the non-material aspects of wealth in their lives as long as they have enough money to “get by”.   Again, who decides what is enough?

Does our culture and personal value system ever allow us to be satisfied with having enough money?

These questions and answers from our personal value system in regards to wealth have an impact on much of our daily behavior and the worth we assign to ourselves  and others as humans. 

For example:  do we believe that people who have lots of money are more intelligent, more likable and have more important things to say than someone who has little money?   Is someone who is poor and homeless worthy of less attention and care from us than a person who may have more money? 

Are we afraid that if we associate with or give to the poor, that we may lose some of our wealth and others may think less of us, not to mention our own self-perception of being ‘losers’ without wealth?  Are we ‘winners’ in the game of life if we have more wealth at the end?   How do we choose to see ourselves?

Am I rich?  Will I ever be rich enough?  How does my value system about the role of wealth direct my daily behavior and how I see myself and other people?

As we continue the Life Journey on better understanding of ourselves, our attitudes, values and behavior in the area of wealth can tell us much us about ourselves.  As always, we are challenged in our learning to be honest with ourselves on this sensitive cultural topic.

Comments welcome.  Email:  silverchatline@gmail.com

Helping Others

A familiar story helps demonstrate the challenges of helping others.

A heavy flood came to an area.  As the rain fell, a man crawled to the roof of his house to wait for God to rescue him as his faith had taught. 

A man with a canoe came by and offered help, but the man stayed on the roof saying that help was coming from God.  Another person in an outboard motor boat came by and offered assistance, but the man did not get on board saying he was waiting for God to save him.  A helicopter came to lift the man off of his drowning house; he declined saying that he still had faith in his God to come for him.

Eventually, the house was washed away and the man died.  Upon his arrival in heaven, he complained to God about His neglect to save him.  God replied that He had sent three ways to save the man, but since it was not what the man expected from God, he had chosen to perish.

Many of us who have the desire and temperament to offer help to those around us sometimes face a similar predicament.  The gift of assistance we offer is not what the other person is specifically expecting, so they refuse to accept the gift. 

We usually then have two frustrated people:  the person who wants to give and cannot get his assistance accepted in the form offered as well as the person who wants help only in a certain manner and/or from a particular person/group.

For those who wish to help others, we often need to ask ourselves IF the assistance is wanted.  There are people in our society who do not want to receive help from others.  We could find ourselves in a situation like the Eagle Scout who tried to help the old woman cross the road when she didn’t want to go.  How much does one force another to take help "for their own good"?

There are also individuals who take pride in their independence and see receiving help as some form of dependence on others.  They do not want to bother others or they may believe that they are not worthy of the gifts that people want to offer.  It is difficult to help someone who sees themselves as unworthy of assistance.

Other persons want their assistance in a specific form.   For example, they may want money to handle their bills.  They do not see the absence of health problems as a gift that allows them more money for other areas of living.  It can be difficult to see that the old car that continues to run day after day is a valuable financial gift.  Instead people can often be waiting to win a lottery or receive an inheritance.  Like the man on the roof, they want their help from God to come in a specific format and at a special time.

The area of helping and being helped by others can further be complicated by the self-image each of us has as to who we are.  

Often people who see themselves as a giver have a difficult time adapting to the receiver role.  It is difficult to go against the personal roles of how we see ourselves since we have spent a lifetime building them.   

Others who are in the receiver role can find themselves adapting to a victim-role or one who has expectations that others should help them.  Before offering help to these persons it would be beneficial for both to determine what expectations each have of giving and receiving various types of assistance.  Knowledge is helpful.

Being able to give assistance to others and receive help is part of what makes us the humans that we are.  We tell others and ourselves what values and beliefs we have when we exercise the process of giving and receiving to others in our world.

Comments welcome.      Email:  silverchatline@gmail.com