A year ago an essay was written about the expectations that each of us carry into this holiday period. All that was written last year is as true this year, as it was last year and many years before. Therefore, I encourage you to return to Holiday Expectations (Dec 2009) and reread what was written as a preface to this addition.
One of the characteristics of this Power for Positive Living blog series is that almost everything contained in the various blogs remain timeless year after year. They offer positive guidance for us when we are adolescents all the way through our senior years.
Even with this knowledge and living experience, it can remain a frequent challenge for each of us to implement what we have learned during our life journey into allowing us to enjoy healthy and positive lives on a daily basis.
Recently I was sharing a feeling of excitement about a blog content with a friend. Since I had written it, the content was of value to me. My friend chose to respond with the comment: “I’ve heard it all before; there is nothing new”.
Even with all of my years of professional and personal experience and this person being a historical friend of long standing; I was disappointed at his response. Yes, the response was true to him, because one cannot know me for long without learning that I have value, belief and behavior systems which I freely share with others.
After pondering the exchange, I found myself with the typical human responses of wanting to find someway to blame him for disappointing me. He was not being supportive. He did not listen to my sense of excitement. He chose to focus on the repetitive aspect of the content rather than my feelings.
However, I finally realized that part of the responsibility for my feelings was placing my own expectations on him. I had an idea of how he should have responded and he chose to honor his own expectations rather than try to meet mine. I was the one with the feelings of disappointment.
So, whether it is the holiday season or not, we are continually facing the challenge of placing expectations on ourselves and on others. If I meet my own expectations of myself, I tend to be happy; if not, then I tend to be disappointed in me.
The same is true when I choose to place expectations on others; they have the same choice to honor my expectations or not and I experience the resultant feelings.
During this holiday season, we need to remind ourselves that the world does not revolve around our wants and needs. People behave to meet their needs, not ours. Others think about us far less often than we do!
Each of us is free to decide whether to honor the expectations we place on ourselves during the holidays and other times of the year, just as others may want to place on us. Reality encourages us to realize that often people make choices about our expectations for them that are different than what we prefer.
As with all of our choices, holiday or non-holiday, the way we choose to feel and behave each day is always personal. When we set expectations for ourselves and other people at a realistic level, we experience the outcomes we actually wish to have happen.
Each day our personal joy and happiness of setting and receiving expectations are waiting to be chosen!
Comments welcome. Email: silverchatline@gmail.com
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