Two C's: Our Choices To Handle Changes

As a retired counseling psychologist, I have often been asked what are some key things that I have learned about others and myself that can aid one to have a healthy life as a senior.


One of the key aspects of human behavior that I have observed over the years, and usually is confirmed by conversation, is that there are two basics in our lives that most of us continually struggle with in some form: change and choice, the two C’s.


Everything in our life is constantly in a process of change. Some times the process is slow, while others times it happens so rapidly that we are stunned and find ourselves wondering what happened. Sometimes the changes are pleasant, understandable and bring happiness to our world; sometimes the opposite occurs.


By the time we have reached our senior years, we have frequently become very skilled at resisting the changes taking place in ourselves, our friends, our families, our health, our finances, etc. We invest a great deal of energy in seeking to have our worlds remain in what we see as a ‘normal’ state. We want the world and the people in it to behave, as we believe they should!


The reality of change is a given in our lives. The choices we make to manage these continuing changes are frequently the largest personal challenge we each face as individuals. We have so many varied choices and sometimes lots of people who are eager to tell us what we should choose to think, feel and behave in leading our lives as we get older.


Usually the major choice for most people is whether to accept or reject responsibility for the individual choices each of us makes. Frequently we find that our ‘problems’ are usually not the changes that are taking place all around, but what decisions do we make when faced with change in others and ourselves.


As we talk with people in our world, it usually does not take long to learn to what degree an individual has chosen to be responsible for the choices he/she faces. Many choose healthy, positive and nurturing attitudes and behaviors. Others may choose to react to change with denial, displacement to others, rebellion, or victimization.


The easiest path is often to choose to not embrace changes and rely on habits and experiences from earlier years. However, the healthiest route for happiness is usually to accept that we are free as individuals to decide to accept or resist the reality of change by the choices we make in how we feel and think about our world and ourselves.


How we handle these 2 C’s tend to make us the individuals we are at any stage in our lives.


Your responses and questions are most welcome.
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