Historical Friends

When I was a young child, finding and keeping friends was relatively easy for me.


First, like others of my age, I was seeking to find friends in our peer group. Finding friends is easier when everyone around you is doing the same thing.


Second, qualifications to be my friend were easy to meet. Almost anyone who did not dislike me and did not participate in bullying me due to my limited athletic abilities was eligible and eagerly accepted by me.


As the years have passed, the situation in finding and maintaining friendships evolved into new standards, qualifications and behaviors. People came into my life, made their mark in some unique manner and then passed out of my world.


Unlike childhood, I found that some people had a numerical limit on the number of people allowed in their friendship circle. I discovered that appearance, race, parental status, maturity, various types of popularity, similar interests, etc., all led to the arrival and departure of friends.


A major change for me in finding peer group friends was graduation from college and graduate school. I became aware that the number of people available to build a friendship seemed to decrease in number. Fortunately as an adult, I was also able to increase the number of locations in which to seek friendships.


I have always considered myself fortunate in the special individuals that I have had as friends over the years. Even though many have entered and left my life, each did make a unique mark on me in some manner.


My biological family is small in number and I feel blessed to be able to enlarge my social family by the building of friendships through the power of choice. It is still an honor when someone gives me the gift of choosing me to be a friend and I value highly that same gift when given to another.


Although this pattern is familiar to many people, I have always felt especially blessed for the individuals who have shared a friendship with me for a long period of time. Most of these are many years or decades in length. I call them my historical friends.


In October I celebrated my birth month. One friend of 35 years was kind and generous with the gift of a plane ticket to Hawaii. On Oahu I visited a friend of 31 years. On Molokai I visited with a friend of 25 years. Being able to have these individuals, along with many others, in my life for long periods of time is a true treasure for me.


Historical friends are those wonderful people who give the gift of their love and caring year after year. They seek to actively participate in my world. They are available for conversations and problem solving with non-questionable gifts of directness, caring, creativity and honesty.


As I live the senior years portion of my life journey, I grow even more appreciative of the significant roles these treasured historical friends play in the quality of my life.


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