Singing Pigs

“Do not try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.”


While this life guideline can often bring a smile to our faces, it contains very wise concepts of how to be happier as an individual while improving one’s relationship with other people.


One of the secrets that many of us try to hide from others and ourselves is that our lives would be so much easier if other people would change to think and behave like we think they should.


Since most of us believe that our way of seeing or doing something is the best, or even the correct way, we often fantasize how much better the world would be if people and things worked as we believe they should.


We all know people who are trying to change us to their way of thinking and behaving. Just think of politics and religion as two of the areas where deep intensity of emotions can be invoked. As usual, with many conversations, most of the participants want to talk, not listen, in their efforts to “enlighten” another person.


We could note less explosive areas like choice of movies, dining out, vacation preferences, buying a new car, handling some extra and unexpected funds, values in raising a child, etc. We all have opinions and it can be very frustrating for many when others do not see the world as we see it.


Trying to change one’s self is difficult and very challenging work --- and usually has the chance to succeed only IF the person truly wants to change and is willing to make the efforts involved.


It is even more difficult to change another person since most people do not want to change from their values, beliefs and behaviors. After all, their personal history and life journey have led them to who they are. If we are wise, we learn to take people as they are.


However, many still tend to attempt changing others because it brings comfort and compatibility to their way of seeing the world. In essence, we try the impossible: teaching a pig to sing. We spend hours trying, usually with the rationalization that it is for the other person’s own good. Seldom do we admit that our efforts are directed toward making our own life easier.


Naturally, since most people do not want to change and will resist these efforts, our attempts to make pigs sings are usually a big waste of our time, energy and full of frustration.


Realistically we know that people get annoyed when someone is trying to put pressure on us to do something we do not want or cannot do. Yet, for some reason, we tend to be surprised when the pig becomes annoyed just as most humans do.


While the world may be a more comfortable place if everyone thought and behaved as we think they should, the reality is we are healthier if we can accept the lesson given to us by those who accept that pigs do not sing: trying to make a person change is a waste of our energy and annoys others.


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