Being True To Self

If one has had the chance to study classical literature, they have probably come across the line that underlies much of our personal growth process:  To thine own self, be true.

By the time we have become adults, many aspects of our culture have indoctrinated us to their expectations of what is good and bad or what is normal or abnormal.  Our society has worked diligently to teach how we are to fit well with those around us.

Sometimes this process is so successful that our own true self may disappear.  We can become a collection of what others have told us to value and how we should behave so that we are liked.  It does not take a bright child very long before he/she knows the high value our society places on being liked.

It seems fairly obvious that I can love others only to the extent that I can love myself.  As a social creature I shall work on loving others to meet my basic needs of belonging with someone or some group.  However, until I acquire a positive and healthy love of myself as I truly am, this effort to share love with another becomes difficult to accomplish.

One way that I can love myself is to be honest in choosing which expectations from myself and other people I wish to honor; we always have a choice.  Many times throughout the year we are called to meet the needs of others while being dishonest on what we need to live a full and healthy life.  The many holiday periods are certainly some of the times we experience this type of stress and encouragement to be less than honest in acknowledging our needs in of our dealings with others.

Another way of being true with ourselves is the value system process we choose to bring persons into our personal friendship circle.  There is a saying that conveys to others and us how we see ourselves:  “show me an individual’s friends and the person I shall know”.

Friends are our family of choice; we honor ourselves when we select certain individuals to be our friends.  For these relationships to allow mutual love to exist, each needs to be true to themselves before they can offer love to another person.  Realistically, we cannot offer what we do not have.

Another indicator of an individual who is caring about self and being true to his/her self-image is when they strive to create win-win situations with others.  A “win-win” interaction with others allows me to feel true to myself and the other person.

What I choose to believe about others and myself tends to form the reality in which I live.  If I can truly know who I am and love me with total acceptance of my various traits, then I am in a position to honor myself.  I am being true to myself.

If I am seeking ‘answers’ in my Life Journey, I am more able to find these answers inside of myself if I have been true to the unique person that I am.  Without this truth to self, I am more susceptible to finding unhealthy outcomes in my decision-making.

While always a continual challenge, this effort to know and honor thy self in a truthful manner remains a foundation of the personal growth process.

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