Foundations

Our world is full of foundations.  Our buildings have them.  Our economic and spiritual belief/value systems have them.   Our personal foundations determine what type of life we build upon them.

In the world of personal growth, I have found that certain foundational beliefs tend to be most beneficial for us to develop healthy guidelines as we travel our Life Journey. 

Among the ones I consider most important are:

** Different strokes for different folks (an inscription that my heirs have indicated they will place on my tombstone).

**  Life never promised to be fair, logical, rational, etc.

**  People make decisions and behave to meet their needs, not mine.  They basically do what they want to do, not what I want them to do.

While these three guidelines seem understandable and even agreeable by most people in our world, being able to actually implement them into active roles in our lives frequently brings anxiety, stress, depression, etc.  Many have a very difficult time internalizing these guidelines so that they actually do guide our own emotions and behaviors.

For example, we are surrounded each day by people who are different in some significant way from our own view of life and behavior.   Yes, we tend to be attracted to people who we perceive as similar to us in the important aspects of our lives, but common sense tells us that even these people are different from us in important ways.  

While this concept is logical and rational to most, counselors are constantly talking to people who want to “judge” the differences of others and frequently make them into right or wrong.  It seems difficult to fully accept that people see, feel and believe differently from us for reasons that are valid in their own perceptions.

This tendency to structure anothers foundation into absolute right and wrong usually leads to conflict and frustration with other people.  This same behavioral trait is often found in people who frequently believe that our world and the people in it should be structured to be fair, logical, rational, etc.  

From our birth until death, there is, and never has been, any contract with life that promises to be fair or anything else.   Basically, life is a gift that we receive at birth, make personal decisions to manage this gift for a period of time and then we die from earthly existence.

In spite of these struggles, the most difficult one for most people to actually internalize seems to be that people behave for their own needs and do what that they choose to do with their gift of life.  Life can be content and happy when we build win-win situations, but life never promised that anyone would evolve past the basic needs that we are born with: focus on the needs of self.

Fortunately we have civilization and socialization processes to help so that we can live together in peace, manage conflicts, give and receive love, etc.  However, the basic focus of choosing what to do with our gift of life remains the basic foundation of our personal life journey.

Comments welcome.     Email:  silverchatline@gmail.com