Being Versus Doing

When one enters the world of personal growth and development, there are two questions that possess great power for the individual and others with whom he/she chooses to interact.

1.  Who am I?

2.   Who are you?

The question of ‘who am I’ represents the structure that we choose to build on our personal foundation.  Studying ourselves gives us the answers to the unique and personal questions of who is the unique and special individual we are.

When we look at ourselves in great depth, we often find that many of us have structured our lives around the perception that our lives are basically a sense of being or around the perception of doing.

One of the basic choices we make is whether we wish to build our lives based on the foundation of seeing life as a gift.  We are entitled to this gift by being born and have only to receive it and use it for the time we live on this earth. 

This means that we are of value as humans just because we exist, not on anything that we do.  Of the two basic choices, this perception tends to be the most difficult for most humans to truly believe about themselves. 

It does not take long in our conversations for other people to see whether we value ourselves for being human, or whether we see our lives as only having value for doing the tasks, goals and accomplishments of our life journey.  One can choose to value him/herself only for what they DO rather than just being a human being.

If we listen to what we say to others about ourselves, we find that frequently the predominate talk is about our behavior, about what we have accomplished.  For some, just being alive is not enough to merit our own appreciation of self and certainly does not impress very many other people. 

For many in our society, it is only by doing tasks and meeting goals that they can find value in themselves.  These people find it difficult to retire without remaining ‘active’ even as they need to work at playing or rest from vacations.

The power to ask for the truth in how we value ourselves by asking ‘who am I’ can be just as powerful when we take the risks and ask a similar question to another: ‘who are you?’  We can see by another’s response how they have structured their lives to meet the demands of the society in which they live.  Or they can they take the value of just being human as the ultimate gift we each receive.   

Usually individuals are seeking to be heard and understood by others.  If one chooses to listen, people will tell you where they tend to fit on the BEING vs. DOING continuum.  If emotionally healthy, they may have found a way to balance the two views in our human 'gray zone' rather than black/white.

Like most aspects of studying personal growth, these two points are opposite ends of a continuum.   For those familiar with the bell-shape curve, we know that there are very few instances of one being at either extreme.  Most of us have the characteristics of both perceptions of being and doing.  We tend to be more comfortable living our lives with one trait more than another and our culture certainly gives most of its encouragement to those who DO.

With our question of ‘who am I?’ as a guideline, we can have a positive beginning of personal growth in learning more about ourselves.  With the ‘who are you?’ question, we open the foundation for mutual exchange of honest and intimate dialogue.

As always, the personal choices we make to manage our life growth are ours.

Comments welcome.     Email:  silverchatline@gmail.com