Personal Retreat

 There are few people who do not at some time encounter a desire to ‘check out’ of their daily routine and retreat inside to an inner place of peace.  Our society encourages us to remain busy and be productive during our waking hours.  Many even manage to pack so many activities into this awake time that they do not get enough sleep and rest to remain healthy.

During my graduate school work, I was affected strongly by the writers of humanistic philosophy.  Many scholars wrote about the life-long challenge we all face to learn and understand about our transparent selves.  There was the perspective that most people go through their lives with just a surface understanding of themselves and do not offer their real self to themselves or others in a transparent manner.  This non-offering can often come from factors like ignorance and/or fear.

I remember a key sentence that left its mark on my thoughts and behaviors as I eventually established the framework for my professional life that came to be known as Friend Ship.  “A person needs a place and/or person to go when he finds his life unlivable.”

Friend Ship has as one of its components the structure of a personal retreat.  Similar to a spiritual retreat, the individual makes the decision as to the focus that is different from the various roles and expectations that he lives in his ‘normal’ world.  If, for example, personal spirituality is part of the retreat goal, then one is free to accept their God’s love and support.

The methods and goals are unique and personal; each participant sets his/her own path for self-exploration either by her/himself and/or with the input and support of a facilitator.  A personal retreat facilitator creates an atmosphere of invitation for you to share SAFE TIME with a caring and trustworthy friend where you have the rare gift of being yourself.

Although each personal retreat is different, many have similar components based on the mutual humanness we share.  For example, all healthy people have a need to be heard.  Receiving the gift of listening hospitality allows for a safe atmosphere that is supportive and non-judgmental.

A personal retreat allows one to be ‘off stage’ or check out from regular life roles and responsibilities.  One can explore the quality of my life, my emotional development and individual pattern of personal growth.  People who enter a personal retreat check out by leaving their ‘normal’ roles at the door.

We know that there is a shortage of active listeners in our world!  Few are trained to hear verbally and non-verbally when we are ready, eager and have a need to talk.  Unfortunately, most people think that they are good, if not excellent listeners.  Based on the large number of people still trying to find an active listener, it would seem that many have a faulty self-perception.  

There can be confusion with the behavior of being silent as being the same as active listening.  Active listening is work!  This process requires maximum involvement with the 'here-and-now' of a person's world.  Silence is only not speaking; yet for many,  even that seems difficult.

Checking out from our usual assortment of life advisors and interact with a person offering listening hospitality we can experience the gift of being heard without someone wanting to give us their advice or solution to areas which are unique and personal to each of us.

A personal retreat is available for the time when our need to talk for understanding conflicts with the needs of friends and family who are unable or unwilling to listen to us for a wide variety of reasons.

Friend Ship and personal retreating are not present to do something to or for you.  In an atmosphere of listening hospitality (silence or active listening with another person), you will find the will and way to do for yourself.  You will learn to hear yourself!

Checking out encourages exploration of any aspect of life: self-esteem, stress, relationships enrichment, spiritually, values, hate and love, grief, friendships, career, or solitude. 

Personal retreating encourages you to experience the inner world of writing your own Life Novel; there is no prearranged goal of solving problems or changing behaviors/feelings.  All that is needed for the process to work is the curiosity to share and learn about you from yourself.

You are free to choose your time for:  reflecting, thinking, relaxing, playing, praying, reading, journal writing, meditating, being silent, creating,, exploring, risking, defining, body sensing, experimenting, interacting with facilitator or being alone.

Yes, we all have a healthy need to periodically ‘check out’ and explore aspects of our lives that our daily roles and obligations often prevent us from doing.  But, how many of us value ourselves to make this opportunity for peace and healthy living?  Do we really value our own self-esteem to a high degree by making a checking-out process an integral part of our life?

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